Stopped my car at signal. And that little boy came to me.
sir, outlook?
nahi chahiye.
sir sirf beeees rupaye ka hai.
nahin chahiye.
sir, le lijiye na. sirf bees rupaye.
and he put outlook just in front of me.
and i put an eye on the cover.
cover story was 'is your child conneted to you?'
then i looked at the boy again,
he would have been barely of 10-11 year old.
poor child, probably even don't know what he is selling.
Though, i didn't buy the magazine for personel reasons, i gave him all the coins i had.
As soon as he left, I saw another father begging with his child in his arms
both seems to be injured and there was bandage all over the head of the child.
peep was coming out so badly that i couldn't look more  at them.
No end of miseries!!
signal turned green and i moved on.

Ruchir was one of my best friend. we were staying together in hostel room. But he had
his own group of friends. group with which he hanged on, roam around, sit hrs in
canteen and exchanged gifts on various occassions. All from good middle class families.
He owned a moped. One other guy had scooter.
I wasn't interested in his group's activities but if you stay together, you share a lot of
things, specially your personel life. He shared too.

He was generally out. and it was his group, all for him. "I am going out for dinner with my
friends. We went for chrismas fair today. we shopped this and that. He liked this. she
bought this. This is what my friends gave me on my birthday.  Today was his birthday.
Look at my friendship band. we all have this one same.  I am giving this card. How is it?" 
he was part of a perfect group, in sense enjoying life.

He was smart, handsome and  jolly. Always 'Mast'. Always excited. It was his birthday that day.

"you know, what?"
"what?"
"she proposed me."
"Really."
"Yes. Look at the card she gave me."

she was one among his group and one of the beautiful gals around.

"we went city park today. she was sitting behind me on my moped. and she
put her head on my shoulders. I was so thrilled." he was very happy those
days.

Love doesn't come free. he left behind ranks in studies that year and fell
into supplementries.

They dated for around a year till the day came.

"It's over. I don't know why. she says, I am not the one whom she loves and can live with."

for about 3 months, he tried to persuade her before giving up. Now he just don't wanted to talk anybody in the group.

And few month later, i was teasing him.

"How many times you thought of buying a bike but continued with this moped.
Have you got that, she would have never prefered to be a scooter pillion."

I was in Xth standard and winter vacations were supposed to start on 15th dec as scheduled. School was in pachpahar village, about 3 kms away from bhawani mandi town. My hometown jhalrapatan was again 1 hr from there.
On 6th dec, riots started breaking out and school administration was asked to ensure safety of all students. Those who lives very close by, were given permissions to live for their home either with some guardian or in groups. Going home on 6th means, one week more to winter vacations.

The only undertanding of riot was this that, if hindus find muslim alone, they will kill him.  If muslims find hindu alone, they will kill him.

I too, was adamant on going home due to extra vacations and left in a group for the Bhavani mandi bus stand. All other people departed as and when they got some vehicles. I was left alone at the bus stand.

Then, i started enquiring about buses. A denied response came that previous bus has recently left and there will not be any other bus going due to the situation going on.

he might not know. I shall wait for another bus. 
But as the time passed by, I was getting tense with fear  and started asking from all the people there one after the another.
"what are you doing here? There will be a curfew here in minutes. Go back to your home".

I even couldn't tell them that i can not go back as i am alone now and there isn't any riksha to go back.

After few minutes a TATA mini bus came there and picked few people from there. I hurried to them if they are going for patan and they took me in.

I straight headed to the last vacant seat in the bus and thanked god that finally i got something to go home.

Bus left from stand towards patan.

But there was more for me in the store. As i took few fast breathes, i started observing people in the bus. It was a joint family with women, men, children there. All women were in burqa and i soon understood that i am travelling in bus with a muslim family.

One person came to me. Asked my name. Oh! you are a hindu. hold my collar, pulled me up in air, picked up a sword and told, "i will kill you!". Wild thoughts were travelling through my mind double speed. shock waves were all going through my body.

Men were seated in front and women in middle seats. Most of the women were not talking except to their children. being on the last seats I couldn't heard, what men were talking.

I was thinking, they must be planning where shall we kill this guy and drop him in between.
And then, what if hindus will come in their way. They will kill me also along with them.

In the cold blood winter, i was perspiring like 45 degree summers.

Oh my god, where am i here. "Bas Ek bar khar pahuncha de" .
I even chanted all those lines of hanuman chalisa which i could remember.

After some more time patan bus stand was there. I just went in front and said, i have to
get down here.  
seeing so much perspiration on my face, some elderly person tried to relax me,
"kahan rahate ho? ghar par chai vagairah pilane le chalo" !!!
I was in so hurry to get down first, i even didn't answer him.

Bus left. I walked fast to home.

There are many ways, bachelor boys celebarte their birthday. In hostel, the most common trend was of Alcohol, Music and Dance. However, there are people who do things differently.
There was Ankur, Pandu as we used to call him in college. Pandu was his nick as he played the role of "PANDU HAWALDAR"  in a much famous play in college.  Pandu, was mostly bald, fat, in round shape, wearing  black framed specs, always cheering and always yes to alocohol.

But then, he said, i will celebrate my birthday in a different way. Everytime it"s drink, let"s have bhaang this time.  Bhaang for everyone. So on the fateful, lucky day, early morning he brought some bhaang leaves and milk from market and then they prepared it in one of rooms in the ground floor front wing. By 11:30 AM they were done and boys have started coming back to hostel for lunch from academic campus .

Birthday boy was attending the comers in the lobby insisting for a glass or two. and people didn"t hesitate either. most of them obliged him. Even those, who never had even a small kind of "nasha" didn"t mind in taking shivaji ka prasad.

I wasn"t also among no-sayers. so i took 2 full glasses  and it was too tasty to resist. Then i went for lunch. At lunch, i felt like not hungry. This was opposite to as they say that after bhang, you feel hungry. That might be because i just had 2 full glass liquid. Anyway, i ate some food and then came out of mess.
I chatted with few friends for some time around outside mess. Meanwhile, one other friend came for lunch. By that time, i started feeling hungry. so i went for food again with him. while we were having food, over the dining table, someone said something and everybody laughed. i too laughed, but in a short while, i realised that i am not able to stop. i quickly got up, came to water cooler, washed hands, had some water and headed straight towards my room. I locked the gate from inside and then laughed for around half an hour. It was all unstoppable.

Finally, after sometime i got somewhat normal, so i came out to get know what all others are doing. I went to next room to me.
Sachin was there, sleeping. I knocked slowly to see if he is still awake. he asked,
"who is there".
"it"s me"
"kaun? porwal?"
"yes"
"Aaja"
he opened his eyes and said.
"Ek baat poochho"
"bol"
"tu kidher hai. Mujhe 2-3 jagah najar aa raha hai."
"here only".
Never mind. I took a chair and we talked for about 15 minutes about how we were feeling. he went to sleep then and i came out and moved to yogesh"s room. sunil was laying on the bed and sharma was sitting next to him.
He was just waiting there for somebody to come.
"porwal, yaar iski tabiyat kharab ho gayee hai. 2 minute iske pass baith. main abhi aata huin".
i said ok. i sat at his place.
and there was sunil laying there with all seriousness over his face. No ex-pressions, just staring at me.
and wild thoughts were going over my mind.
"saale ko kuchh bhi hajam nahin hota". and that laughter was again going to come through my mind.
i wasn"t willing it to come at my face. but i couldn"t stop that too.
and sunil was still staring at me with all that seriousness. I just thought, he will get up and kick me.
"saale meri tabiyat kharab ho rahi hai aur tu hans raha hai."

I thought best is to leave the place and make somebody else sit. soon yogesh came in. I repeated the
same excuse sharma gave me and made him stay there in place of me.

Then i came down in ground floor wing. Birthday boy was roaming there all around with a polybag of lemons and salt in his hands. knocking door to door asking if anybody needs them. Many people had reported wierd illness.

I asked him if he needs any help and he handed over polybag to me . Aks everybody and please give it whoever needs it. I knocked the door of dadhich"s room. tushar was also sleeping there on another bed. I asked him if he need lemon.
he said, yes, give me one. tushar is not feeling well. i will give it to him.
I gave him one.
i aksed him too, don"t you need ? you can also take one.
he said with full confidance, "no no, i don"t need it. i am alright and nothing will happen to me.
i came out and closed the door. just after a second, dadhich opened the door again and called me.
"porwal, yaar ek kaam kar, 1 mujhe bhi de de. kuchh ajeeb sa hi lag raha hai"
i smiled and serviced him.

I made one quick round and then came to lobby varandah again.

4-5 people were sitting there in different unusal positions. One guy was sitting there in indian potty style with both his hand over his forhead.
another was simply crying, "please koi mujhe hospital le chalo".

I asked why all are sitting there. They were just waiting for some transport to take them to hospital.
only transport available at that time was one scooter which was making rounds to hospital.

Luckily, nothing serious happened to anybody.

i stayed there for sometime and came back to my room. I was also not feeling sleepy and nobody elsewas there to chat around. so best was to get on the bed.
In evening, hangover was still there for me and it stayed for next day too, though losing it"s grip with time.

But it was truly a great fun having bhaang.  have it limited, try it sometime!!!

It was a normal school day. period, just before the lunch was vacant.  I was feeling hungry, so came out early and headed towards mess. I had food and returnig back to academic building. Lunch times had started and most students were gone for lunch. Over the gate, i found principal standing. As i was coming opposite way, he just stopped me and asked. "Kahan se aa rahe ho"?
"sir, lunch karke" ?
"kya bana hai khaane mein"?
"Roti, subji, daal aur chawal";
"daal kaunsi hai"?
This was the one difficult to answer as i could never distinguish between
pulses. I counld never identify, what pulse it is. I took a puase and then
replied,
"sir, pata nahin, mujhe jo serve hua usme, sirf pani hi tha, daal nahin."
principal fainted for a second and i took the opportunity to escape. Though unknowingly,  i had complained him of the food served in mess.

I was in class VI. Our school used to give us permission to visit the town to roam and shop around on sundays. we were allowed to visit in groups though no teacher would be with us. we would leave at around 10 AM and should be back around 2 PM. One such day, I left school for town with a bunch of friends. By the time we reach town, it was already 11:00 AM. we had nothing to shop, so we were just roaming around. Finally, the group stopped in front of a theatre. I knew this is the place where they show movies, but to visit there was strictly denied from the school authorities.

I was from a very small town where there were only videos. I had never been to a theatre before. Only thing i knew is that they are showing some movie and i was assuming it is a video.

We were standing in front of the theatre and hemant birje starrer "lahu ki Awaz" was the next show on 12. Now the discussions started and people started talking of watching the show. People who wanted to watch the movie starts convincing others. Some got convinced, others just whisked away to join other groups.

Finally, the always confused soul as i am, was the only one left in between, arguing for not watching the movie. we were breaking rules and if sir would come to know about this, we are going to get puninshment. Again, even if we went for the movie, we won"t be able to return back about 2PM.

They were literally pleading me that nothing will happen, no body will inform the sir and we will come out in the interval only so will reach school back in time. But i wasn"t aggreing until they pinched my curiosity quetient. One explained me what actually a theatre is. It"s not a video, it"s huge screen, you have proper seats (not the benches we have in video) and light is throw from box which actually produces movie scenes.

I really got curious, and finally got agreed on the term that we will come out in interval. 

So we bought the tickets and went in. we were 4. movie had already started. It was a huge hall, dark enough and seats were in ladder manner. There was huge white screen in front and some rays were coming from our back side. i wasn"t interested in movie, but in understanding, how it all is happening. i spent most of the time looking back thinking where the hell, these rays are coming from to the screen.

Finally, it was interval. so we decided to come out. Exit gates were usually locked, so we were thinking of looking for some usher to open them, but to our surprise,  they were open. As we came out, there was more in store. Sir was present there to receive us. somebody from the whisked people had informed him.

There he didn"t said anything to us. but that evening, i spent writing 2 pages with all how it happened and being sorry along with four sound sticks on hand.

I wasn"t alone. Other got there share too.

Very few of us will agree that a caste based reservation policy will yield in an affirmative action for upliftment of the poor sections of the society. However, it has been assumed and has become a reality which has been implemented. So let's accept it for the moment that it will bridge the gap of society by the upliftment of the most backward castes.

Progress is a relative word. so is the need for progress. One community doesn't feel progressed or left behind unless it sees it's fellow community progressing in respect to it's own progress.

A reservation policy, implemented uniformly across all country decides that there are three groups namely SC, ST and OBC along which reservations can be provided. However, which caste will belong to which catagory, will be recommened by states and will be granted group accordingly.

Recent storm in rajasthan is merely a result of one flaw in this reservation policy.

That is, there are various communities eligible for these 3 different groups and all these communities are not at the same level of social, economical or educational backwardness. All communities are devided in to groups on the basis of their social backwardness but with in a group, benefits are decided mainly on educational forwardness of that caste. In every group, major share of benefit of the reservation is taken by only that caste which is most educationally forward among those castes. Thus complete reservation quotas are sweep by only one caste and other castes still starve for reservation.

So is the case here. Gujjars were one of the most educationally forward catagory within OBC until JATs gets included. After JATs inclusion, gujjar benefit went to a minimal. so they want to get at least their share of reservation which they were getting before. Now if they are given ST status, Meenas will meet the gujjar's fate, as after that, all major portion of ST reservation quota will be grabbed by gujjars as they are educationally forward than meenas.

With in ST community, it is meenas which enjoys most major benefits in rajasthan. Other castes in the same group such as bheels have hardly get these benefits as they are again educationally backward than meenas.

This reservation policy will yield the upliftment of only 2 or 3 castes with in a group. rest others will still remains backward.